Growing up, I was always running away from my family. I have felt like the black sheep for a while (even though it is probably only in my head), but everyone still loves me. During high school, I was a brat, a lot. Suffering through eating issues the way I did, I didn’t want my parents near me. I was so angry at my parents, especially at my dad, and for what? Nothing. I was stupid, selfish, and ungrateful when people were trying to love on me and help heal. But because of all that darkness, I have seen the light and can see with a clearer mind….
Family always comes first. And even though I sometimes sway, I now know that to be true. A forever support system and strong values only help us unite.
My parents don’t drink alcohol and as a kid trying to fit in, I didn’t understand and was embarrassed. I thought, just a glass of wine doesn’t hurt; it’s actually pretty benefitial. I never hosted parties, and didn’t get to venture to as many as a lot of my friends. I thought it was crazy to have sober, level-headed parents that focused on the Lord. Silly, huh?
Oh, how things have changed. I still occasionally drink, but I try not to judge other people’s personal choices. I respect both of my parents for their beliefs and their discipline to follow their path. This realization and acceptance comes from years of experience, mistakes, long nights, difficult mornings, prayer, growing up, and everything in between. I have finally gotten to the point where I don’t necessarily practice what they do, but I understand their reasoning. And it IS respectful.
My mom and dad have always supported me and loved me unconditionally, no matter what phase of my life I have been in. They have loved me so much that sometimes I feel completely lost without them. My decisions depend on their approval because I am their child and want to make them proud. Maybe they babied me, letting me come into their room at night just to cuddle, or always holding me when I cry, or kissing my hands so I always have kisses to rub one my face when I am away from them. And if that is being babied, I wouldn’t change my relationships with them at all. Even though I have become more independent through life, I always call my mom just to chat or call Dad because I miss him. I cry nearly every time I say, see you later and hug them goodbye. So perhaps I am a baby, and need to be babied!
Thanks to all the love in my life, I rely so strongly on these people, my parents. I have realized it’s not my parents that are so clueless, I’m much more clueless. Anytime I get a slight cold or don’t feel well, I ask my daddy what it could be. He’s the best doctor and always right. He always texts me sweet things, such as have a great day! And never change your kind heart… I mean, I am SO SO blessed to have HIM as my dad.
When I am upset or down, I naturally turn to John. He’s my best friend, soulmate, and my protector. He has so many qualities like my dad; he’s protective, kind, sensitive, and is learning to baby me. 😉 I have been beyond blessed to have a generous and calming dad. He knows when to talk me down and when to just hug me. No one knows how to do that. When I’m upset, give me lots of space. But dad always comes to the rescue!
We will most likely never see eye to eye on politics, social issues, some holistic remedies. And I’m okay with that. The traits I have gotten from both my parents have created ME. A compassionate human. Obsessed with love.
But the biggest thing I have learned lately is that I am becoming a Daddy’s girl. He gets me. And no one, except for very few, gets me. Orignally I didn’t want a large wedding, I would have settled on elopement. The main thing that stopped me? I could not dream of my daddy not walking me down the aisle and giving me away. He has become my biggest supporter and even tries yoga with me!
I remember all the nights I begged him to stay in my room, telling me his childhood stories. I remember going to Indian Princesses (regular get togethers in a tribe with dad and daughters. We camped, had bonfires, and sooo much more), and recalling my dad always having to introduce me. Precious Princess. The thought of speaking aloud terrified me, and immediately tears would flow. Dad knew that about me and encouraged, but never forced me.
My daddy has showed me a new side of him these past few years. We can talk for hours, I love his dad jokes (john too!), and cannot imagine life without him. He shares things with me and listens to me babble about yoga and adorable children he doesn’t know. He’s so proud. I’m not sure what for, but simply feeling that makes me happy. For such a Godly, kind, helpful, giving person to be proud of ME? Yup, it melts my heart.
I hope my dad, and mom, knows every single day how much I love, appreciate, cherish, reminisce, and am beaming with pride because of my weird parents. I never could have seen this coming 10 years ago, but today, I say I am a Daddy’s girl. 🙂
And good luck John and all other men of the world…. you have BIG shoes to fill 🙂
Sarie, the favorite daughter