I am about to embark on a new training – yin yoga. It is a short intensive weekend in the mountain town of Asheville. One of the required readings is, “Wherever you go There you are.” Unknowingly, I purchased this book at a discount book store several weeks ago. Maybe even months ago. I have not yet opened it because I love to overwhelm myself with all sorts of books that I long to read but never find the time for. But here I was in this store, at some time, and purchased this book for $2.00. The Universe is obviously telling me to read this….
Before I even read this book, I know it will be exactly what I need.
During the past few years, I have discovered so much about myself. Is life a constant journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance? What a concept… What I have uncovered about my personality is this: I try to escape anytime things become uncomfortable.
When I get irritated, stressed, overwhelmed, tired, bored, distracted, or even too content, I feel the need to keep searching and moving. It’s easier to walk away instead of facing reality. The vata in me just wants to float on to the next location, idea, anything. I do not like confrontation and have always had trouble speaking my truth. Sometimes walking away is the answer, but often finding acceptance in certain circumstances is the better choice. In fact, I need to be grateful for these moments too, and know they will fade.
Right now, we live in Nashville. While I firmly believe my allergies cannot tolerate this specific area, I need to accept this is where I am now. I have lived in Louisiana, Alabama, Italy, and now Tennessee, moving multiple times within the cities. I guess I did not plan to stay in Nashville this long, and while nothing is wrong, I feel the need to leave. However, I am here. In Nashville. I do not live on the warm beach, and we do not live near most of our loved ones. This is very hard for me, and I want to run to Fairhope or Texas or St. Simons or to see family. Why??? Nashville is “awesome.”
Something is pulling me away, and yes I should acknowledge that. BUT… I am married now. My life is not mine, it is ours. My choices and longings directly have an impact on my husband. We currently live in Nashville, and I should learn to embrace this place as part of our journey. Who knows where we will end up building our home, but isn’t that kind of the adventure? Not knowing?
Why is it so hard to face our fears and discomforts? Why is it so difficult to be content with the simple life?
I am not saying be complacent and not strive for success. I’m saying the road is long; learning to accept each part of the journey will only bring more wisdom and understanding.
Wherever you are, be there.
Because in truth, this moment too will pass.