After we found out that I am pregnant, I told most of my closest friends and family. It is SO DIFFICULT for me to keep a secret like this! My dream in life has always been to be a mommy, and now everything was falling into place. John, my sweet husband, has been taking care of me more than usual, and I completely accept the help! Everything is happening just as it should, without my “say” in the process. God is in control, and now baby is too.
My last pregnancy post I got really emotional about Sarah Belle, our angel puppy. In these past weeks I have come to realize, we have the most perfect angel watching over our baby. I think it came to my attention after she transitioned, but it was too painful to see clearly. I was still buried in pain, guilt, and overbearing sadness. Even though I miss her to the same extreme every day, I now know (and try to accept) everything is happening for a reason.
Being a mom has always and consistently been my main goal in life. I have always loved children and babies, since I was very little myself. With this, I have always had that thought in the back of my mind that I could be infertile or unable to conceive. There was never any proof of this except my mind taking over reality. So here I am, pregnant, with no issues that we know of and ecstatic to be growing a baby in my belly.
With all that being said, I have FINALLY realized… this pregnancy has very little to do with me and my past anyway. Growing a baby is truly a miracle, a gift from God, and so very divine.
Over the past few weeks, the baby has grown from a poppyseed, to a peppercorn, to a blueberry, to a raspberry, and now the size of a strawberry. The growth alone is AMAZING! And once again, I have very little to do with it. It’s all God’s doing! Each moment is divinely planned, and I’m just the carrier of the baby until he/she makes their appearance. And then, I’m blessed to be chosen as a mama to this heavenly treat!
Other than my awareness of the miracle of pregnancy and parenthood, I have been extremely aware of this pregnancy on a physical level. Experts and fellow mothers say that the first trimester is the most difficult, and I really hope so! I am a fairly active person, and these first several weeks have completely floored me. The nausea and fatigue is SO REAL. Mainly the nausea is difficult. I also find it humorous that they call nausea “morning sickness” when it lasts all day. Who named it that anyway!? I nimble on saltines or graham crackers all day. I have had more sprite in these weeks than I have had in YEARS (as soon as the nausea subsides, I’m kicking the sprite to the curb. But now it’s what helps the most).
I have been a strict vegetarian (flirting with vegan) for 8 solid years. I have been sensitive to smells for quite a while, but now it’s a different story. The smell of BBQ (don’t get me started) seeps in through the closed car window, and I have to cover my nose. John thinks I’m over-dramatic, but my sense of smell does not lie. Being in Alabama, there is cooking meat and BBQ EVERYWHERE! Okay, I can’t even talk about it because I feel sick just mentioning it. People smoking outside of buildings is driving me crazy, too. I hope my irritability does not last for the remaining 7 months because it is also alive and well now!
I have not had to cancel yoga once, thank you Jesus! When I go to teach, I feel quite terrible on the way, but as soon as I turn on the music and turn down the lights, it’s all yoga. And yes, of course our baby will be a yoga baby! Maybe that’s why the practice already helps 😉 Teaching yoga and practicing a little at home has really helped me to think of something other than the nausea. And I usually feel better after class as well.
Since we moved here, I have been going on walks and hikes 2-5 times a week. With the Alabama heat and extreme nausea, I have been on maybe 3 or 4 walks in the past month. I’m okay with that because once the fall comes, I will be able to waddle around the neighborhood regularly again. And hopefully the nausea will lessen by then too.
Ahh, pregnancy is a wild ride! I’m so excited to be “showing” soon and cannot wait to announce our baby bear in a few more weeks!
****** IF ANYONE HAS ANY PRENATAL VITAMIN RECOMMENDATIONS, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. I AM LOOKING FOR VITAMINS WITHOUT GELATIN AND WITHOUT FISH/FISH OIL. GRAZIE! ******