“I am beautiful. I am loved. I am worthy. I am enough.”
It can take a lifetime to realize our self-worth and beauty, but these qualities have been with us since conception. Each of us has been made in God’s image; we are a thoughtful masterpiece meant to be loved and share love. Society likes to tell us another story: LOSE WEIGHT; COLOR YOUR HAIR; BUY CERTAIN CLOTHES; YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH; AND ON AND ON.
Guess what? Society is wrong! Why should we look to magazines, the internet, social media, television, celebrities, or even that “perfect girl” next to you in yoga class for our worth? We should not. Your worth is inside your heart and in God.
For many years of my life I put my worth in others, in my physical image, and in all the wrong places. I liked and dated boys who did not respect me. I was cheated on by my very first real boyfriend when I was 18 years old. As a senior in high school surrounded by my friends, I was able to move away from this negative situation, but it bothered me for a while. My next boyfriend, who I was pretty serious about, also cheated on me. In high school, yall! (I don’t want to say all boys are pigs because they aren’t. My husband is one of the kindest souls in the world, and I know many men who are respectful and genuine… but some guys are pigs.) THEY were the ones in the wrong, but I questioned myself. I thought I did something wrong, wasn’t enough of a girlfriend, or worthy of their attention. These thoughts were just that, thoughts. Yet, they took ahold of my being and stayed a while.
I am not alone in this. I know many young women place their happiness and worthiness in boys or friends, even without deliberately meaning to. We get lost in the idea of this relationship turning into something magical, and when it doesn’t, we are lost. Or we compare ourselves to someone else who appears to have the “perfect” balance in life, and we feel small or less than. That is because our worth should be found in ourselves, in faith, or in truth, not in dumb boys or even best friends.
My friends are my family, and my adoration for each of them melts my heart. They mean the world to me, and I miss each of them daily as we all live hundreds of miles apart. But living with other girls, best friends or not, was not a healthy situation for me to be in [at that time]. I remember standing in front of the mirror bashing our “flaws” when we should have been embracing them. I recall crying many, many nights about the boys we liked being jerks and neglecting us. While there were MANY incredible times we had together, we also went down negative paths together. We should have been lifting each other up (which we did, but could have more), and bitching about some guy who was not worthy of us and our loving energy.
More so than most my friends, I would be consumed with rejection. It was “easy” to fall back into old habits – eating to throw it up, exercising so I would be thin and desirable, or heavily drinking so I wouldn’t know the difference. With all the love I have, I gave it to almost everyone I encountered. I spent too much time and effort trying to impress the boys I liked in order to feel worthy of love. Not every guy treated me badly. There were a few, very few, in college that were kind, respectful, and understanding. Unfortunately, I did not see my own worth and beauty and still needed confirmation. How much energy I wasted on others’ approval is beyond me.
I do not blame the boys for MY thoughts and efforts. I do not regret spending time on them, because every situation and relationship taught me something valuable. Once I met John, everything changed. I was calm, encouraged, and determined to move forward with love. When self-awareness, or the right person, comes into our lives, we learn to accept ourselves as we should instead of constantly misjudging what we should embrace. But I wish I would have spent more time reading my Bible, talking to my girlfriends positively, and meditating when I was blinded from my worth and strength.
The past few months, I have been sharing this affirmation in my classes: “I am beautiful. I am loved. I am worthy. I am enough.” And these words are TRUE for all of us, without any help from society. Self-worth is crucial to finding inner peace and love. We all deserve love, because God first loved us. We are all beautiful because of our “flaws” and “imperfections” that make us unique. We are worthy of all that we desire and dream because they are OUR desires and needs. We are enough because we are doing the best we can.
Do not let others take your value, worth, or love. Those treasures belong to you and cannot be defined by another person’s opinions or mindless actions. When we get knocked down, it is best to turn to a grateful and open heart. Spend time in meditation discovering your power, strength, and truth. Become so connected to your truth that no guy or friend can come between you and your worthiness.
You are worthy, You are enough,