Is planning a wedding or preparing for a baby more stressful?
Both occasions, although celebrating love and life, are very different. My experiences with both were/are a little of a roller coaster. First off, wedding planning was MUCH more stressful. Second off, it was pretty worth it! I know preparing for a baby will definitely be worth any anxiety too.
To explain, I was planning a wedding when my then-fiancee and I lived in Nashville. I was in the midst of yoga teacher training while working 5 days a week, and John was busy practicing and recording with his band and also working long hours at a restaurant. Our wedding was 9-10 hours away in Benton, Louisiana, near my family and where I grew up. It’s safe to say, we were insanely busy before planning a wedding. I LOVE planning and organizing and thought it was best to save money on hiring a wedding planner and doing most of the work myself. Of course my mom was in command too, and looking back, I do not believe I would have done it differently. Some people, however, need a full time planner, and I respect that.
With planning all on our own, I was always preoccupied with ideas, research, and the dreadful budget almost every moment of every day. Most of my “dreams” fell into place, and our wedding was really lovely and sentimental. Many things did not happen like I preferred because of the “professionals” we trusted–when we should have done more research on who was working with us. Some things were simply out of our hands, but some things could have been avoided if people communicated better with us.
I emailed the venue regularly and had a few meetings with them. Our first meeting went well, and I thought we found a lovely place to say our vows. After that, they went back on a lot of their word, and I became increasingly frustrated with their lack of respect for the bride’s wishes. To name a few of these miscommunications: we were told our precious 10 year old puppy could be at the venue (we had an outdoor ceremony), then closer to the date were told that wouldn’t happen; they kept pushing a “theme” on me and the decorations (when I believe the theme should be “GETTING MARRIED and vowing to love one another”); no one seemed to read my emails; I told them all my food preferences and restrictions, and eggs were still used when I do not eat eggs (I could not eat at my own reception); we were promised to-go food, but the woman ended up drinking a bottle of champagne and neglected to do so; and there was a chance of rain on our big day, but they acted like our ceremony had no chance of being outside. And that was just a little of what happened with the venue.
My wedding gown was not finished; everyone was running really late; the photographer fell very ill and passed away after the wedding; her back-up photographers were rude to my bridesmaids and to me and OBVIOUSLY did not read my emails and what photos I wanted taken (except for one of the three who was kind and tried to make us happy); and many, many of my closest friends and family did not show up. Like I said, some things (weather, premature newborn baby, sickness) got in the way, but a lot of these issues could have been avoided if people listened to the bride.
Even though all these little mistakes collided, our ceremony was perfection. The ceremony was what I cared about most, promising my love and life to John, and having our family there to witness it all. And the ceremony was as close to perfection as possible! The flowers were magnificent and everyone looked flawless!
After the wedding, I was upset about all that went “wrong” for quite some time, mainly about the photography. I was beyond happy to finally be married to my John, but the wedding I had dreamed of my entire life wasn’t quite like I imagined. Wedding planning took a lot out of me. I had a skin rash a few times, got Shingles, and was worried constantly.
Since we found out I was pregnant, this experience has been quite the opposite. John has been working full-time and making sure I was not stressed or anxious. While it seemed surreal for a while, I was genuinely ecstatic, excited, and anxious in a good way. A lot of my joy had/has to do with John taking all the stress off my shoulders. With less than 80 days until I am due, pregnancy has been joyful and fun. There were a few confusing moments, times of fear and uncertainty, and physical discomforts, but I have loved being pregnant. And after the baby arrives, I will not be preoccupied with the pregnancy and “what went wrong.” I will be preoccupied with an angel BABY and taking care of a beautiful life.
One of my friends told me a while back that pregnancy was much less stressful than wedding planning, and I did not understand until I was in this pregnant body. She was right! Preparing for a baby can be a little daunting, but I am already ready to do this again. Wedding planning was, for sure, a one time journey.
I have learned a lot in both situations, about myself and about other people and how they work. One of the biggest things I have noticed: people are MUCH kinder to a pregnant lady than to an overwhelmed bride 🙂
If you are planning a wedding or preparing for a baby, try to enjoy the journey. No matter how smooth or how bumpy, there are lessons to learn, people to meet, and loved ones to lean on. The people close to you will want you to be happy and help out as much as they can. And after all the preparation, you are MARRIED and/or you have a BABY!
It is all worth it…
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