I have been HIGHLY frustrated recently. Being a new mom is no joke. I am aware of my insanity, but I cannot seem to let it go…
I think the mama bear in me is roaring.
I am tired.
Tired of people hovering over MY baby. Tired of people calling my baby their baby. Did you give birth to him?? Did you carry him around for 9 months in your womb? Does he cry for you? Are you his father? Then how dare you say, “my baby.” Being a mom and having my own baby has always been my biggest dream, so let me enjoy my child.
Oh, and tired from waking 2-5 times a night. And that bothers me the least because it’s my baby and it is what’s expected with a baby. I carry him around all day, but that fatigue also does not bother me.
When I am feeding him, that is sweet time for him and me. Do not rub his head and talk to him. He is eating with his Mama. Unless you are helping me change his clothes or diaper, you do not need to stand there and watch us. It makes me uncomfortable, and I am comfortable with being his mommy. And this is just the beginning of my crazy…
I am annoyed.
I am annoyed that some people don’t respect my wishes for being around him and me in our house. Fragrances irritate my allergies, especially artificial fragrances. My husband stopped wearing cologne years ago because my allergies are so extreme. Of course I love things that smell good! But if I’m sneezing from fragrances in my own home, I am unable to care for my little boy like he needs. Keep them away from my pure child as well; he should smell like a baby, not perfume.
I am not ready.
I am not ready to be separated from my little boy. I am not okay leaving my baby with someone, anyone, while I run errands; please don’t encourage me to do so. It is hard enough being in another room. I know I need to shower, but I miss him even then. In time, I will want to go to the grocery store alone, but now is not that time.
I am OCD.
Obviously. I thought my obsessiveness would lessen when I became a mother, but it has increased. Ten-fold. I would rather do things myself, so I am more tired and more stressed.
I am deprived.
Of a yoga practice. Yoga is the thing that will help me let go of everything else, spend time with and for myself, and relax. Some days I practice with him asleep in his swing or with him beside my mat. But even those times I don’t get a full practice in, at most 30 minutes. A full yoga practice will come back in time, I don’t want to miss a single moment of his young life.
I am crazy.
I am crazy about my little baby boy. That is the main reason I am a little highstrung these days. I used to be more laid back with OCD tendencies, but now I am insane. Everything I am crazy about is for my baby though. I want to protect him from anything harmful. This all is part of being a new mom and maybe it will change as he grows and with our future children.
But for now, I am stuck being pretty crazy. Please be kind as I work through these times. And be kind to all new moms: ask to help, but don’t force yourself on them; give them space so they can love on their babies as much as they want; and respect their wishes for their new role.
And please know, I absolutely, completely adore being a mom. It is my favorite role. Ever.
Crazy lady mom,